


Fathers of the Year

by ikeracity, velvetcadence



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Erik, Calm Down Erik, Charles is just along for the ride, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is not a Happy Bunny, F/M, M/M, Overprotective Parents, Parenthood, Protective Erik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 06:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1848475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/pseuds/ikeracity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcadence/pseuds/velvetcadence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Lorna expected her fathers to leave her alone and act like normal human beings on her first date ever with a boy, she expected wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fathers of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](https://31.media.tumblr.com/8fb1d8dc9289b0b56df9476337df0518/tumblr_n6lzmsllhL1qjnhqgo1_500.jpg).
> 
> All thanks to Kage and Q for a quick beta!

Lorna was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Erik was also having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, but for different reasons. He was being yelled at by both his daughter and his husband, the former for apparently "violating her privacy" by tailing her to her date, the latter for "blowing their cover" by going into the restaurant when they'd agreed not to intervene unless Alex touched her.

Erik could have _sworn_ he'd seen Alex brush fingers with Lorna when they'd reached for the napkin dispenser at the same time. He deliberately eye-zoomed at the boy until he could see Alex sweating. Lorna scowled at her papa for turning what could have been a perfectly nice dinner-and-movie date into a silent inquisition.

 _Oh god_ , Lorna thought, _don't tell me he's following me into the movie theater too._

 _Movies?_ demanded a voice in her head that was decidedly not hers. _You said it would only be dinner!_

 _Dad, get out of my **head**! _ she snapped. _God, what are you doing here? Papa, I can understand, but you too?_

_You're lucky I'm here, Lorna. Your father wanted to charge in as soon as Alex let you pay for your own food._

"It's called going dutch," Lorna seethed. "You old-timers wouldn't understand."

"I beg your pardon?" Erik raised an inquiring eyebrow. She blushed when Alex was staring at her with a confused expression of his own.

"Papa, why on earth are you and Dad here?"

"Dad's not here. Dad's at home."

"You are the _worst_ liar in the _world!_ "

"What's going on?" Alex asked, faintly concerned.

Lorna scowled. "My dads are assholes, that's what!"

 _Language, Lorna!_ Charles sent from the car.

Lorna let her head drop into her hands. She was sixteen, damn it! She wasn't a child anymore!

 _I beg to differ, darling._ Charles said.

Lorna mentally roared, _Dad, stay out of my head!_

"Maybe I should go...." Alex began, shifting towards the edge of the booth.

"No, no," Erik said pleasantly. "Stay. Let's talk. What sort of movie were you going to take my daughter to after dinner?"

 _“Were?"_ Lorna echoed, outraged. She knew her father's tactics. She knew exactly where this was going.

"Um," Alex hedged, his eyes darting from Lorna to Erik and back. He was clearly trying to decide how much he needed to say to escape from this with minimal damage done.

“Don't try to lie," Erik advised, his voice overlaid with steel. "My husband's a telepath, you know."

 _Dear, you might want to tone it down a little,_ Charles interjected. _Lorna’s in a spitting rage and Alex might just melt into the floor_.

 _Good,_ Erik said. _Let the punk know what'll happen if he tries to hurt my daughter._

Despite Erik's murderous mood, Charles couldn't stop himself from sending out a wave of affection.

"We're going to watch The House." Alex cleared his throat. "That is, if it's still alright with you. Sir."

"The new horror movie?” Erik’s eyes narrowed. “Don't think I don't know what you're up to."

"Papa, it's just a movie," Lorna scowled. She looked a lot like Charles when she did, which made it more than a little annoyingly endearing.

"Horror movies incite fear, which makes your body produce adrenaline, endorphins and dopamine, the same chemical that is released in times of infatuation," Erik recited dutifully, prodded along by Charles' telepathic voice.

"Also, you're probably hoping she gets scared and clings to you, aren't you," Erik added, glaring.

"He is _not_ ," Lorna exclaimed.

 _He probably is,_ Charles interjected. _I used the same tactic on your papa and it worked marvelously._

"Ugh, Dad, TMI!" Lorna wailed, clapping her hands to her ears.

"Listen, if you don't want to go to the movies, that's fine with me," Alex said, still inching away from the booth.

"Young man, sit down," Erik flicked his fingers, dragging Alex back to his seat by the metal of his belt. "Let's not waste your tickets just yet."

"Papa!"

Erik ignored Lorna and steepled his fingers together menacingly. "No kissing, no touching, no holding hands, no making out, if you make a sexual pass at my daughter, I WILL KNOW."

"Papaaaaa!"

Alex raised his hands in surrender, his face only slightly pale, to his credit. "I promise, sir. No funny business."

"No foot play, no hanky-panky, no nothing.” The cutlery began to float and aim themselves at Alex. “ _Understood, soldier?”_

"Yes, sir!" Alex saluted, military brat to the core. "I mean, uh." He put his hand down. "Yes, sir."

 _This is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me_ , Lorna groaned, burying her face in her hands. _Literally nothing could top this._

 _Never say never_ , Charles said cheerfully in her head. She hated him in that moment almost more than she hated Erik. If her papa was a terrible person, Charles was a horrible, horrible enabler.

 _At ease lad,_ Charles told Alex. _As long as you treat our daughter well, we won't have cause to break your spine._

* * *

For some unfathomable reason, Lorna and Alex got out of dinner and to the movie theater alive and with Alex in one piece. Erik had left them alone just as Alex finished paying for dinner under his hawk-eyed gaze (Lorna would have to pay for his dinner the next time she saw him. It was only fair.)

They bought popcorn, cheese for Lorna and butter for Alex, and went straight to the cinema without any further trouble. Lorna settled into her seat, excited for the movie to start and to hold Alex’s hand in the dark.

Just before the lights dimmed, however, Lorna caught sight of her Dad and Papa making their way in, holding hands like they were on a date themselves.

And then they sat right behind Lorna and Alex.

"Forget about watching a horror movie," Alex whispered. "This _is_ a horror movie."

"Just try to ignore them," Lorna muttered, determinedly staring at the screen. She even dared to lace their fingers together on the armrests when the lights dimmed, which she knew her father had noticed because she could feel his glare boring into the back of her head. Before he could say anything though, a deafening commercial for some action movie featuring an excessive number of explosions sprayed across the screen and drowned out anything Erik might have tried to say.

The horror movie, for all that it was advertised to be one of the scariest and goriest of the summer, turned out to be a typical ghost flick. Lorna nearly fell asleep halfway through it, though Alex stared, riveted, his hand clenching hers tight. After a while, bored, she chanced a glance behind them and almost choked on her popcorn when she saw her father and Charles leaning across the armrests _kissing_ each other, of all things. Who were the adults here and who were the fucking teenagers?

 _I heard that_ , Charles said without disentangling himself from Erik's grip. _We're going to have a talk about language when we get home._

 _You've got the foulest mouth of anybody I know_ , Lorna shot back.

 _Maybe, but I'm pretty sure Papa wouldn't appreciate you picking up that habit of mine._ Horror of horrors: Charles' hand was creeping down Erik’s chest. _Now turn around and enjoy the movie_ , he advised kindly, _before you see something you really don't want to._

 _Oh my GOD_ , Lorna mentally screeched, whipping around fast enough to jostle Alex. This could only happen to her. Only her stupid fathers would tail her on a date and end up touching each other nastily in the row behind her in a dark movie theater.

By the time the movie was done and the lights had flashed back on, Lorna had been holding Alex's hand for a solid one hour and fifty minutes. It was a nice date overall, if she vehemently erased every traumatic detail her parents had inflicted.

Lorna tried not to think about how her Dad and Papa ended up making out the whole time.

 _PAPA IS THAT A HICKEY_ , Lorna squawked indignantly in her head.

Erik casually readjusted the collar of his turtleneck. "Did you enjoy the movie?"

"I am so done with the both of you right now," she said, cheeks burning with embarrassment and anger. She gave Charles a beseeching look and Charles finally took pity on his stepdaughter.

“Erik, why don’t we go home and let the kids have their post-movie ice cream? I’m sure we’ve tortured them enough for one night.”

 _After all the effort we put into tonight? We might as well see the rest of it through,_ Erik sent. Charles replied with a filthy replay of last week’s rimjob, the one where he had Erik gasping helplessly, bent over the kitchen sink, one of his arms sunk elbow-deep into the sudsy water and the other reached behind him to pull at Charles’ hair.

Erik cleared his throat and casually put his hands in both of his trouser pockets to hide his rising erection. “You’re right, Charles. Lorna, be home by eleven.”

“...Fine.” Lorna said, slightly disbelieving that they were giving her a little leeway after dinner’s show.

In true Papa Bear fashion, Erik glanced back just once and gestured “I’ve got my eyes on you” at Alex with his fingers.

Charles stifled his laugh with his fist. Alex seemed like a nice kid anyway. Lorna could take care of herself for two hours.

He had promises to live up to once they got home, after all.

* * *

After a round of sweaty, satisfying lovemaking, Charles cleaned up, got dressed, and went to fetch some papers in his study that needed grading. Normally after they had sex, Erik would be sleepy and Charles would sit up next to him in bed and work a bit while Erik dozed. But tonight when he returned to their bedroom with a folder under his arm, the bed was empty.

He found Erik sitting in the living room in the armchair that afforded a view of the street through the window. Erik had cracked the blinds open and was currently engaged in glaring in the general vicinity of their mailbox, as if expecting it to pop open and suddenly spill Lorna out onto the lawn.

“You’re being a little paranoid,” Charles told him, leaning down over the back of the chair to kiss his ear.

“You were perfectly fine with following them earlier.”

“Yes, but that was before I took a peek in Alex’s mind and found out he’s actually a decent boy. We haven’t got anything to worry about.”

“Alex may be a decent boy,” Erik growled, “but you know Lorna. She’s a magnet for trouble.”

“Takes after her father, doesn’t she?” Charles teased.

Erik started to retort, then jerked his head and leaned forward to stare at the end of the street. “I can sense his car. He’d better not kiss her on my watch.”

Charles put his fingers to his temple, perching himself on the arm of Erik’s chair. “Well, you don’t have to worry about the kissing part, darling. He didn’t kiss her.”

“Good.”

“Rather, Lorna kissed him.”

“WHAT?”

“I was joking.”

Erik muttered a curse under his breath. “Don’t do that.”

“I dread to think how you’ll react when our baby gets married.”

“If,” Erik corrected darkly. “ _If_.”

They watched as a beat-up old sedan pulled up to their front door, puffing audibly. “I hate it,” Erik said, glaring at its garish orange doors. “It’s half a second from breaking down or careening off the side of the road. It’s older than I am.”

“Not everyone can afford nice cars to take their dates out,” Charles replied, rubbing his thumb absently over Erik’s earlobe. Erik leaned into his touch, torn between scowling and purring.

“He could at least have borrowed a friend’s car,” Erik grumbled. “Something _safe_.”

“We can lend him the Lexus next time if it makes you feel better.”

“No, we’re not lending him anything. If he can’t provide even the most basic things, he doesn’t deserve to date Lorna.”

“I hardly think a car is a _basic thing_ , love.”

“But safety is.” Erik glowered at the sedan. “They’ve been sitting there forever. Why aren’t they getting out?”

“It’s been two minutes.” _So impatient_ , Charles added, with a touch of fondness. As irritated as Lorna got about Erik being overprotective, Charles found it more than a little endearing. Erik had spent their youth terrorizing senators and lobbyists and big-name anti-mutant protesters, and now he was terrorizing teenage boys with the same ferocity. Some things never changed.

Finally, the doors opened, and Lorna slipped out of the passenger seat, entirely unharmed. Alex crossed over to her, keys jangling in his hand, and walked her up the driveway to the door.

“See?” Charles said, running his fingers through Erik’s hair. “Nothing to worry about. You sat watch for noth—oh.”

Without thinking, he slid his hand down over Erik’s eyes. Confusion spiked through Erik’s mind as he reached up to pry Charles’ fingers apart. “Charles, what—”

Charles could literally see the red that pulsed across Erik’s vision. _Oh, Lorna_ , he thought privately. _I thought you would have known better than to kiss your boyfriend on the doorstep, in full view of your homicidal father._

“Lorna!” Erik shouted, springing up from the armchair.

At the front door, Lorna and Alex jerked apart. Alex had one foot off the porch, ready to flee. Charles had to give him credit for not bolting as soon as Erik reached the door, his expression thunderous.

“I said eleven,” he growled, glaring at both of them. “You’re late.”

Lorna rolled her eyes. “It’s only eleven-fifteen, Papa.”

“Late is still late.”

At his caustic tone, she sent Charles a _look_. The older she’d gotten, the more and more familiar Charles had become with this look, which said, “Please control Papa before he makes me look ridiculous in public and I disown him for the rest of my life.”

Charles had to side with Erik on this one though. Late was still late. And if he wasn’t strict on this the first time, their daughter might think she could get away with coming home increasingly later eventually, and before they knew it, she’d be out all night doing who only knew what. There were limits to be respected.

_We have rules precisely so we can keep you safe. Do you understand, pumpkin?_

_...Yes, Dad,_ she answered, if a little begrudgingly.

“Thank you for bringing her home safely, Alex.” Charles extended his hand for a shake. It was clearly a dismissal, and the poor boy looked almost ready to bolt.

“It’s no problem, sir. Uh, have a goodnight.” Alex gestured to shake Erik’s hand as well, but Erik’s arms stayed resolutely crossed over his chest.

 _Darling,_ Charles sent exasperatedly.

 _No,_ Erik said. Every line of his body was a huge petulant ‘no.’

They all waited on Erik for a terse moment before Charles suggested that Alex go home, and he and Lorna parted with awkward arm waves.

Erik closed the front door behind them. Charles watched his husband and his stepdaughter avoid eye contact. _Goodness,_ he thought, _they’re far too alike to ever truly get along._

“Did you have fun?” he asked genially, “What did you do?”

“We just talked and had ice cream.” Lorna shuffled her feet. “Can I go to my room?”

“Not before you give me a hug.” Charles opened his arms. Lorna’s mouth twisted in a way that made it clear she was trying not to smile (that was definitely Erik’s not-smile) and Charles squeezed her like she was still his little girl and not the young woman she was growing up to be. “Kiss Papa goodnight before you go.”

“‘Kay.”

Lorna walked up to Erik’s armchair and leaned down to peck him on the cheek before darting up the stairs. Charles kept track of her until he was sure she was in her room before he made his way to his sullen husband, ruffling the hairs on his graying temple with a kiss.

 _She’s growing up,_ Erik said, and the tone of his thoughts was lost. He was sifting through memories of when Lorna was still so small he could hold her in both of his palms.

_She is._

_We’re OLD._

Charles burst out laughing. _That we are. Every day, every minute._ He curled his fingers around the exquisite cut of Erik’s jaw and smiled. _And that’s fine, as long as it means I get to grow old with you._

Erik turned his face to kiss Charles’ palm, and his thoughts were wordless, but they were colored golden with love.

**Author's Note:**

> [ikeracity.tumblr.com](http://ikeracity.tumblr.com)   
>  [velvetcadence.tumblr.com](http://velvetcadence.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Fathers of the Year](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4781879) by [annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annapods/pseuds/annapods)




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